Intentions vs. Resolutions Is the Name of the Game

Expanding your opportunities for alignment in 2023

2022 is on the way out and one of the things I’ve been thinking about is the preoccupation with transition into new years. Mainly about how we think about changing behaviors, “fresh starts” and all that. Truthfully, I think this is the first year where I’m thinking about the rolling state of things and how it’s never too early or too late to start doing something differently.

This year for me has been a rollercoaster of sorts, across all different parts of my life. One of the things that brought me comfort came from my readings around Stoicism and essentially realizing that we aren’t really in control of many things but how we respond/react to things is in fact usually in our control. This is what got me thinking about the upcoming year and what truly allows for a more expansive view of change in our lives — having intentions instead of resolutions. I won’t get into the debate on how long resolutions last, how they are usually surface level, etc. but what I will mention is that after having a number of conversations with close friends/colleagues in the last few months, it’s evident that many of us are taking a look at our lives in radically different ways.

From our work impact, to our health (both physical and mental) as well as the joyous experiences we want to have in our lives — things are a-changin’. But with that comes something else: the unknown. That murky fog of “am I doing this right?” has honestly gotten the best of me for longer than I care to admit and in this last year, I came to face it more closely than ever before. And so I’m planning to start that rolling state I mentioned for 2023 with setting intentions instead of hard resolutions — here’s why:

1. I don’t know what I don’t know — here is that murky fog of the unknown. There are countless things that can happen this year that prevent me from going to the gym 3 times a week but with an intention around improving my physical health that incorporates consistency, accountability partners and (gasp!) having fun with it, changes the game. There can be the gym, outdoor running/walking, boxing and trying out a fencing class. All falls under the same umbrella.

2. I’m more tapped into my emotional state — this is important. In the past, my goal setting was really coming from a state of fear, anxiety, inadequacy and check-listing based on what I thought I should be doing. This year I learned to step outside of my mind and into my body way more often. Turns out, paying attention to how you feel can do quite a bit for successfully and consistently improving your life. Mindfulness practice helped with that a lot.

3. Being open to abundance in the process — like I mentioned before, setting intentions keeps the door open for more expansive results. Saying “hey, I think I might try out that yoga class” may lead to new friends, adventures and insights way beyond just you bending in seemingly awkward ways. But because you were open to different while pursuing your intention, boom, a whole new chapter of your life journey may have opened up.

4. The game has changed — lastly, ever since I turned 40 this year, certain things just don’t look the same anymore. The rubric of success and things I used to strive for have definitely changed. I think that’s how life usually happens anyway. But these last few years have taught me how easy it is to fall prey to the trap of external validation seeking with the promise of aha moments, happiness and clarity. Turns out it’s important to intentionally take time for yourself and practice creating the life you want — from small choices (hey, learning how to say no is critical) to the big ones (book that flight!). Fatherhood has also shown me a lot of what’s important and what’s not.

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you set your intentions for the year:

• when did I feel the most energized this past year?

• what did I not get enough of this past year that I want to make space for?

• how do I make space for those things?

• who are the people and relationships that I want to build deeper with?

• how full is my cup going into the new year? (this can create intentions around physical/mental health as a focus during the early part of the year)

• what types of accountability will I need to keep on track with these intentions and who can be part of it?

So with all this said — my phrase for 2023 is “manageable but consistent”

And the intention buckets I’m focusing on are: health, work & connection

Let me know if this was helpful as you think about how you’re keeping things rolling into 2023!